Deceived by Looks.

I don't think I'm gonna apologize this time round. I think I've said once and I'll say it again. My teacher in Form 4 and 5, who was coincidentally a lecturer from Sunway Uni College, the college that I attended, and I do admit I miss, taught me one thing - since I was sort of a delinquent during my adolescence. "If you don't mean your apology, then why bother saying sorry? If you mean your sorry then then change for the better." So, yeah. I don't really think I want to change for the better at the moment.


I'm smothered with perpetual sets of lab reports, online quizzes, essays and whatnot. It gets really monotonous which is NOT what I want, I want it to be more clockwork than simply black and white. It gets boring no? Well, anyway. Being bored with life kinda shows. Being "bored" sorta depends on the expectations of the individual, right? You go to school/university/work and involve yourself in a community. After all, what is a community BUT a bunch of individuals?

Each individuals has his/her ups and downs, thick and thin moments. Well, I was sick the other day, like, sick as a dog. First day of the 2nd week of class. I guess it was a way for the institution to welcome me back. Sorta like a big "Hola!". Was wearing a sweater and I noticed that my shoelaces were untied. I felt so miserable that I didn't bother fastening it into a knot. If you were bored, it would show too - hence, the introduction, lol.


Yeah, I looked pretty untidy. Well, if you were to look at me and judge me, wouldn't you reckon I'd be someone untidy? I guess I was. But the thing is, looks DO show the substance on the inside. People talk about masks and how they can effectively shield their "innards". Some people might be good at altering and manipulating their body language into giving off different vibes.

I'd talk about impressions and vibes but I think you guys already know enough bout that. Let's see. This was kinda impromptu blogging so I don't know what exactly I'm trying to get through. lol. Erm, let's see. Ah, well, I've met people who, I would assume to be shy from the way they look, actually tend to be that way when I meet them.


I guess, this could help you out by looking friendly, open and stuff. Smile more, wave at friends. Be friends with the heads, the boss, the lecturers. It makes your life easier. Show off your personality. Mould yourself into what you want to be - isn't now the perfect time to do that? lol.

What's in a name? That which we call a rose,
By another other name would smell just as sweet,
ColiNgeow.

Re-Solution.

Excuse the wordplay. Resolutions, resolutions. Do people stick to their resolutions at the start of a period? Say, a new year, a semester? A fresh start to things tend to conjure up funky things that would be less frequently thought of. People say the person you spend New Year's with is the person you'll be spending time with the whole year. People also say if you with upon a shooting star, it comes true. Gosh, people talk about all sortsa' crap.


Which leads me to resolutions that people set. "I want to finish my homework on time". "I'll try harder in the relationship". "I want to become a better person". Do people make up all that crap? DO they really work towards resolutions/goals they set for themselves? I guess. But ain't it till a certain extent? Most things in life become so objective. "I want to become a better person". What does "better" actually mean? Is there a cut-off point?

Okay, wtv. Pretty pointless. Resolutions are made in an effort for a better change in an individual. Sticking to it is up to the individual. It's what the individual sees and deems as "better" which leads to an eventual change in him/her. It's pretty self-explanatory but I kinda stumble upon my words. Let's say I see being friendly as being a "better" person, I'd change for the "better" - in this case, being friendly.


This is, of course a very linear perspective. People are complicated and have different issues to deal with. Different issues = different resolutions. If people don't stick to their resolutions at the start of a year, wouldn't it be a waste of a whole year? If so, then why bother making resolutions at all?

Kay, what about different mindsets being "better" to other people and not so much to others? Get what I mean? I'll use the past example. Being friendly (as I said before) might not be as appealing to other people as "better". I guess, relate the morals that life seems as better. The general ones, to be safe. Hard work, heart, commitment, principle. lol. That kinda thing.


So, people. Stick to your resolutions whenever you make one. If you don't then what's the point of living at all? I'm gonna get myself some durian now. It's 207am and I've got a lab class tomorrow at 9am. And i haven't gotten myself a lab partner as yet. Adios, tards!

Give me 5 minutes, and I'll melt your cold cold heart,
ColiNgeow.

Fresh Start.

Hola! Class starts tomorrow after a long, rather undeserved semester break. A month passed by super fast and I'm not "keen", to say the least, with the restarting of the semester. But I guess some people are practically shitting in their pants awaiting the reopening of the lecture halls and tutorials. Hey, different people, different perspectives. I like sirap bandung, you might like sirap ais.


Maybe it's because they had bad holidays. Maybe it's because they're going thru a rough patch and want a breath of fresh air. Maybe they just f*cked up their 1st semester of '08 - you know, wanting a fresh start and stuff. It's kinda quick how time flies as you get older. Don't you feel it too? Form 5 ended all too soon. Pre-U was like a brief stroll in the park. I'm constantly waiting for the year to officially "commence" (which is after Chinese New Year - if you get what I mean) and I fail to realize that the year's already half gone.

Well, forget that. Ever dug a hole so deep for yourself that the only way of coming out of was starting over? Did that come out right? Sounds wrong but you get the point, right? Ever f*cked something you did up so much that the sanest way to overcome it was to start afresh? Life, being the way it is, doesn't let you start afresh. Then again, that doesn't sound so bad. If keep restarting, when are you gonna end up completing what you have at the start?


If you don't really finish what you start with then what do you accomplish at the end of the day? Nothing. That's it. Plus, if you keep starting over till you get something you want an complete it with ease, what's the point? Only through hardship and work is where we learn, no? When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. Prepare yourselves for the upcoming semester, 'tards!

No, I'm not done yet. Examples are in relationships. Given a 2nd chance, try not to mess it up AGAIN. Not to say 3rd, 4th and so on. Sometimes it's hard but, in the end it's worth it. AND excuse me, this does not sound very fairytale-ish 'coz this is very fundamental. If you were sitting for an extremely hard paper and score a HD in it, wouldn't it be worth more than a relatively easy paper? So, there it is. Fresh starts may not always be good.


What a beautiful lie,
ColiNgeow.

Doubt.

Humans have a wide range of emotions. Apparently, worrying and anger bring the least benefit - if at all. Not so sure bout that but I think worrying deters an event from being forgotten. Sorta like, "Eh, sorry la bro, it slipped my mind la". Yeah, pretty much.

People constantly doubt themselves.

Especially when money is on the line. You tend to foresee the obvious hints people send to you. You start that trip down paranoia lane. "Is he psycho-ing me?! Is he luring me?! F*ck, I'm not confident with my cards lah!! Holy shit, keep your poker face on". Familiar? Btw, psycho-ing literally means mind-f*cking.

Another case of doubting yourself comes into play in shopping malls. In restaurants, in parking lots and in shoe shops.

"Which should I order ah? The spaghetti or what?? Aiyah, same la, right? They both taste great anyway." "EHH! Parking! Should I park here ah, mm, should I be GREEDY?" And so on, and so forth. I wouldn't want to continue my monologues to reduce my already diminishing number of visitors xD

When in doubt, whip out your funky pants and do the "robot"! Haha. The post might be sorta awkward but I wanted to update you guys on why I've not been updating my blog, lol. Sorry for the short post, lol. I didnt want re-start off with a deeper, more personal post.

I'm constantly hungry, I'm afraid I might be pregnant,
ColiNgeow!