And I'm Thinking,

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    Theoretical Notions.

    I've finally finished my lab reports and essays (just not the one that's due in May, lol). Uni's very hectic to say the least. As you complete your assignments with the last ounce of strength in you body, you think that the work you have accomplished would have suffice before the week was over. You sit your ass down on the couch and as your butt cheeks graze the surface of the sofa, the sofa freaking bites you in the ass. @&%!!!. Yeah, you get the picture. We can't really take a breather. Maybe that's life. Life, debatable, subjective, universal. Uni's supposed to depict life so having no time so sit down, sip the coffee and smell the roses should be part of the everyday routine, kua.. lol

    A few years back, something tragic happened, I'd prefer not to elaborate further. Back to the topic, I was conversing with my dad some time back, not really sure when though, about life. He had lotsa theories and ideas. One really intrigued me. His theory about old people and being senile. He said that being senile was a part of life and it helps their loved ones.

    Keep your pants on, I'm not even half done. He said, when a loved one gets old and senile, s/he loses his/her personality that we grew up around and loved. They tend to have different desires and needs. At times, they get annoying. As their personalities alter, through time, they would've been become shells or shadows of their former selves. After all, what's a person without a personality?

    All that's left is a dark, empty, void. Sort of like when an insect sheds its exoskeleton. And, with that emptiness and absence of personality, wouldn't we naturally distance ourselves from them? Yeah, that makes sense. Plus, they get irritating and needy. So, wouldn't we have an unbreakable barrier? Sad, right? And when they do pass on, it'll be less painful for us. That's what my dad explained.

    So i questioned him. Wouldn't we miss their personalities as they once were? Their personalities during their glory days, the golden eras. Their smiles, laughter, warmth and company. My dad replied, "Of course.". And i tried to understand which only led to a distraught pool of questions and ideas. With all the question marks boiling inside me, I said, " Ha?" in the most confused fashion.

    He claimed that we would definitely miss them BUT don't we already miss people around us? People who are normally with us who are not with us (i.e working overseas, different schedules, forbidding circumstances). This matter is no different. They just "leave" before they actually do.
    Get what I mean? They turn senile before they die - as they turn senile, they leave behind their personalities and richness in character.

    Wouldn't that be the same as not having them around in the first place? Am I making any sense? Thanks, you get me now. So I got him and I still asked, but that doesn't answer my question, wouldn't it hurt? He nodded his head ,"Stupid question, you think yourself lah". Obviously the answer was yes but how did it all add up?

    So I took half a minute to arrange everything in my head and attempted to put them in terms of speech. I took a long breath and blabbered away. I get it now, as they lose their personalities slowly, it's a slower process of losing them, that's why we take it bit by bit and it doesn't hurt as much as if it were to be all gone at once. Is that why they leave, it would be significantly less painful? As when it were to be time, we would've gotten ready for it and its circumstances?

    Bingo. Hope you've enjoyed reading my post.

    Watching you is a one way conversation, too,

    P.S Thanks everyone! Thanks for wishing be happy birthday and calling me from where you guys are! I appreciate it. Thanks again. I'd make a list of appreciation but blogger.com/blogspot.com wouldn't have enough terabytes of space. xD

    Thank you from the deepest edges of my heart,
    ColiNgeow. =]

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