header-photo

And I'm Thinking,

    follow me on Twitter

    Lost Values.

    Before reading this post, take your time, sit down and read it slowly cuz it's pretty long.

    "Sunburst in Cattus Island"

    About a week into my attachment, and again, a lot of time to myself, I've started to notice things I haven't before. Guess I never really had a chance to notice these things with my old schedule. In a world of kiasu-ness and where paychecks become the driving force of most people's lives (or so I think), I find people or rather strangers that favour values. It's not so much that they favour values over money but I guess they're not as fortunate as some of us but heck, they make an honest living anyway - which counts. I saw an elderly woman boarding the bus from the bus stop during a heavy downpour. There were ample seats but she was carrying a lot of bags with an umbrella that was wet. She didn't know where to keep her umbrella but the bus conductor took it from her and placed it on the dashboard of the bus. After which, the conductor smiled and shared a joke with the elderly lady. I guess you had to be there to witness it la but it was nice to see that people have not forgotten their values. Values that we have been thought to embrace while growing up just cuz its the right thing to do. The HUMAN thing to do.

    You might know, or might not lol, that I've been attached to a hospital. Today I made a visit to a few wards visiting the young and the old. I was in the ward of the newborn babies and had to run some tests to see if they had jaundice or a G-6-P deficiency? I'm not too sure but I know we were checking for jaundice. Was just wondering what the babies would achieve in their lifetime. Day by day, diary entry after diary entry, triumph after triumph, defeat after defeat. Life literally waiting for the newborn to experience. People to meet, lives to save, basically a life to live. A joyous mood I was feeling, for these babies only had the best to look forward to.

    "Signs"

    After that, we went to visit the ward for the elderly. The first few steps I took into the ward, the mood changed. It became really really sad. I think I visited 5 wards but that was enough for me to realise what I have realised from just observation. You never really fully understand something unless you've been a part of it as have these people. There was one ward that I visited which impacted me hard. It was this elderly man, my attendee was uh, attending to him and wanted to collect a blood sample. At first I looked at the man, I thought to myself "wah, this old man.. quite big ah his arm.. maybe he pumps iron or smth". But I couldn't see his other arm, he was lying on his left arm and his right was the only one visible - which caught my attention. The attendee came in, spoke in a normal level of loudness, addressing him by his name, trying to get his attention. In cantonese (YES, I can understand basic canto), aren't you Mr. So and so? The man did not respond. She repeated his name, and he again, to no response. At this point, I was fearing the worst for this man - you know what i mean. Before the 3rd try, the man responded in canto "I can't hear *pointing to his ears*. Could you speak up." I felt relieved that he was with us. She asked if his hands were swollen and he said "only my right". I realised that his right arm wasn't muscular, it was so swollen to the point where it looked as if it was. She proceeded to take the blood samples from his hand. On the table next to him, laid adult diapers. In the same ward, was what resembled a fusion of a toilet bowl and a wheel chair. It's basically for patients who are unable to move around on their own and without bowel control. I felt sorry for this man as the last thing that really got to me was that his veins were swollen, as in they were black and blue from the constant insertion of the catheter. This man was so ill, he had trouble with his bowels, probably both urine and stools, he had an impairment in his hearing, and I did not have the slightest clue as to what his primary illness was. I left that room telling and reminding myself how lucky I was. Being able bodied, being healthy, being so lucky to be in a good university, to have such a good life. To be so fortunate.

    "House on the Lake"

    At first, I was dreading the fact that I work so far from my home and I that have to wake up at 6am everyday just to make it work on time but I guess I'm getting used to it. I should stop complaining and be grateful that I actually have a job and an able-working body. On top of that, I have a great family, great bunch of friends who have grown up with me, great friends from my university. What more can you ask for? A Gallardo? An N97 mini? Think about the people who have no roofs over their heads. And you DO. Head down to KL and you'll see plenty of them. The next time you think your life is shit, comparatively, another person would give the world to be in your position.

    To my friends that are currently attached to a hospital, these people have their spirits down and PLEASE do serve with a smile. Even if its just a blood test, put yourself in their shoes, personally, I'm quite afraid of needles la so wouldn't you like the people around you to be nice i you were in their position? Yeah, so serve with a smile to everyone at the hospital, not only will it help the people around you but it turns you into a better human. It reminds the patients that you're human. Doesn't take much effort anyway :)

    On another note, I heard this song over the radio and it makes my mornings not so 6am-ish lol. The video is quite disturbing and smth's wrong with the buffer la but just let it load and give it a listen lol.



    And I may never find the meaning of life,
    But for this moment I am fine,
    ColiNgeow.

    All pictures are courtesy of Rachel Gouk and this is her website, please do visit! Or here or here. It's awesome work, really ;)

    League of Champions.

    There's something about watching the best of the best do what they do. You watch sports.. (okay, I'm only going to talk about football) and have a favourite player, a favourite team, favourite play.. wtv right? Be it Serie A, Bundesliga or EPL (boo!!) a goal is a goal and a good pass is a good pass. There's a league that stands out from the rest as the ultimate trophy in club football. Yes, it is the Champions League. It pushes the teams that are already at such a great level to achieve err.. "greatness". Think about it, spanish champions vs english champions in a showdown that would settle the score between the "better" team.


    In the end, the trophy is basically awarded to the team who wants it more in the end. *cough*miracleofistanbul*cough* haha, what about treble season 98-99? Personally I think Man Yoo got lucky la lol. Anyway, when you watch it, there's something about the best of the best covering their ground. Gattuso V Iniesta. Kaka V Mashcerano. To watch your heroes fall or rise. Most of the time fall la *cough*johnterryhahaha*cough*.


    There IS an unwrittern rule of football tho. No man can wear 2 jerseys of different clubs. Afterall, it IS a more than a belief right? Haha. You can't pick 2 contrasting beliefs. The Reds, Old lady, Catalans. And of course, these giants have their playing grounds. The moment the opposing team steps on their ground, err... how do I say this.. the opposing team GG la. San Siro, Bernabeu, Theater of Dreams, Nou Camp, Highbury.. oops, Emirates. They wait for you to come and then they tapau you upside down la, basically put.


    Anyway, how much can I blog about the Champions League? As the name suggests, it's the league of champions, a league like any other where teams win or lose. In this case, its a league where only 1 club rises as a champion triumphant where others fall *cough*celtictryharderyoucandoit*cough* haha.

    Man Yoo needs an Iniesta or a Xavi,
    ColiNgeow.

    Choices choices.

    Life is fundamentally built on choices. I'm not sure if you believe in fate but I'm not an avid believer of fate. But then again, "fate" is so ambiguous and when you think about it, when you try to establish a cut-off point for fate (or any other ambiguous word for that matter) the points tend to blur off. Here's an example, if you were at a mamak stall and you're a supplier of rice. So happen there was an entrepreneur looking for rice as well. Does that count as fate? or luck? Well i think its probability.


    Anyway back to choices, wasn't it your choice to head off to the mamak? Anyway, I wrote this post cuz of what my lecturer said the other day. The more you use your brain, the smarter you get. Think of it this way, once you don't get your problem solved, you can do 2 things. Think about it or just leave it be. And personally, I would think about it. I'm a tad harsh when it comes to stupid reasons that people give. "Cannot la, too hard la", if you ask me, its more like "lazy la, you do it for me la". If other people can do it then why not? Guess its your personal choice to do what you want. You only get "better" when you're at your limit and you push yourself even more.


    Situation 1. You're tired from the day before and you decide to go for a marathon. firstly, are you retarded lol. IF you knew you had a marathon whyd you waste your energy the day before. well thats not the point haha. When running a marathon, or doing cardio of any sort (futsal, football, jogging etc) you tend to hit the wall - as some atheletes would say. That is when you start pushing yourself. How much you push yourself is totally your choice - don't worry, your body can take it. Unless you faint la, sign of metabolic acidosis haha.

    SO yeah, that's a choice totally yours. There's one more situation where I think most of us can relate to. When you're studying for a test and when you know when your brain is saturated, that is the best time to push yourself. I think (and this is purely based on assumption cuz I didn't do any backgrd reading lol) at this point, the blood flow to your brain increases. The further you are from your saturation point the higher the blood to your brain. Its analogous to when you're working out. Blood flow up = oxygen and nutrients up = growth of muscle up. Sorta the same for your brain anyway. So its the choice is totally up to you. But try not to people, just cuz it gets hard and it hurts your head try pushing yourself. What's the point if you don't raise the bar? Unless you want to settle for something less then go ahead.


    Situation 3. You're super ticked off, you had a bad day and someone just went pass your limit. Next thing you know? (*&^%$#@#$!!!! or walk away? Choice is totally yours. Depends I guess, on how much that someone who made you go over your limit means to you. If it's your parents then no way. Or if it was some random person then that would make the choice easier for you, no? Then again, choice is totally yours.

    You also make choices at dinner on food and stuff but that wouldn't weigh a lot I guess.. Choices in people you meet, what you believe in, what you say, what you do in LIFE.
    Life is made up of choices. Yes or no, left or right, up or down, the choice is yours.

    Evaporation, condensation and precipitation,
    ColiNgeow.

    Illusions of life.

    Okay, I'm blogging more than I ever have in '09 lol. But maybe its cuz I have ounces of free time now. That gets me thinking even more which equates into more blog posts. Random thought, I think the people at blogspot were typing "blog post" really fast when choosing a domain name and ended up with the typo blogspot and stuck with it. Possible right? Try spamming and see lah, you'll get blogspot/blogpost. Or blogpsot haha - which somehow isn't underlined red, as in it's not registered as a spelling error.


    Another random note, I have no idea why my playlist is playing teen/emo/pop punk/me vs the world rock. Its on shuffle btw. I should update my playlist lol. The world is a very emo place. Or maybe it's just me. Once again, I'm doing a lot of observing from body language but I'm sure you guys do too. If you think you don't, you're doing it subconsciously. Basically, people that do not feel good about their selves show it. Hmm, how do I say it.

    Well fashion/dressing up is a confidence thing lah. Let's say you see a t-shirt you like, you tend to ask your friends for justification to whether they think your shirt is nice or not. If you like it then yeah, get it. If your friend doesn't then I'm sure you'd take a second look at it (probably a proper one). See the thing is, its a confidence thing, if you and your friend agree that its "nice", you're gonna think that it actually IS nice (which in reality is solely based on personal preference) and you're gonna get it anyway. See, you feel good about yourself when you think you look good.


    But then again, "looking good" is completely personal which is why there are diff styles - emo, preppy, lala and all that. They think they look good so it it they FEEL good and it shows. There you have it, dressing up is a confidence thing. You know, people that are not comfortable with their surroundings will show it la - slouching, leaning against an object, folding of arms, hands in pockets, legs placed closed together (an example stance would be when you sing your national anthem), loss of eye contact. Please, please, please avoid that list when going for presentations. Most people (and probably 90% of bosses) perceive this as having low self esteem, being an introvert and wtv else that's related la, i can't think of any. Not that I know but I'd rather employ a person that doesn't seem comfortable with him/herself right?

    Maybe that's why I'm attracted to confident girls haha. Okay, I'm not blowing my own horn but you seek what you want in the opposite sex. Kidding kidding. But for real, attraction doesn't mean partner lah. Attraction could be platonic, most of the time it is lah. The ones that seem confident could actually be masking themselves. Haha, this I was thinking of Hayley Williams from Paramore. Seriously, they are damn good live and most of the time playing live relies a lot on your frontman (and claims my friend, the drummer too haha). Think for a sec. I'm sure she has problems and all but still she brings a lot in live performances but still packs a punch as a frontman.


    Body language, speech, charisma, vocals - the whole package. She could be having probs or not, I'm not too sure but they're having band conflict lah, and w/o a doubt Paramore matters a lot to her and shakes her confidence. That got me thinking and following Hayley Williams on twitter haha. What am I trying to get at again, the post it way too long and I forgot my initial message. It was somewhere along the illusion of being and acting confident and how cute Hayley Williams is. Hmm okay, well I'm still gonna post this up. The thing is I bet you guys don't even interpret what I'm trying to say right? Haha, it's just "rather interesting reading material". It's up to you guys as to how it can affect you lah, I'm too lazy to interpret it myself. I give you the head and body you come up with the legs lah.

    Speaking of live performances, check this one out. Awesome! If you don't know it already, most bands can't play live AT ALL. Sorry to burst your bubble haha. *cough*jonas brothers*cough* well actually I don't know la, haha. I take that back, they're actually pretty good musicians. Follow me on twitter, haha!



    Moving to Atlantis, could've made it if you tried,
    ColiNgeow.